I am sure every married couple and newlywed will hear this question once in their lifetime.
How is married life?
Many of you will probably say that is ok and is just how it is.
(I mean, is there anything else you want to hear? Do you want to hear there is DRAMA? or that things are drastically different?)
So this is my answer after I got married.
Things are just the same as usual
There is absolutely no magical change or what so ever after I got married. The only difference is that we are officially man and wife and that I can call Vincent my husband. Whatever we did as a couple before marriage is still the same as after we got married.
In fact... If you expected a change in your relationship, then should you really have gotten married?
Why do I say that? Marriage is just a status to tell the society and the country that you are legally bounded. After you are married, the social status in your country is somewhat boost as you are now able to get benfit as a married person. In the past, there are many things you can do once you are married. More income, more social benefits and etc. (I Read it up because of my thesis)
However, in today's society, a non married person is able to get most of the benefits that was spoken of in the past. Probably in Singapore, is just age differences.
So what do you expect after you gotten married to your partner?
- That she or he suddenly treat you like a king or queen?
- The other party magically knows how to do chores or change of habits?
- The other party suddenly have a change in personalilty or character?
- That your relationship will suddenly be better once your status is change to married?
Or even worse
- The abusing will stop once your partner is married to you?
If you are thinking about all these... Then sorry to burst your bubble. Marriage will not solve all these.
What will impact some of these changes is probably when you move in together and you found out something new about your partner. But many believe that it is good to stay with each other first before married as you will know what kind of person he or she is in their most comfortable environment.
So what did change after marriage?
You will have more responsbilites. That's for sure. To move on, I won't say that is after marriage that things will change but more of life milestones will make you change as a couple.
For Example
The wedding. Your wedding is one huge milestone that both of you will be doing together. There will be arguments, disagreements, stress and etc. It is how both of you as a couple overcome that stage and hopefully be a stronger couple. If you see it in the right mindset, planning a wedding together will show you many sides of your partner and both of you will grow to better decision markers.
Getting a house together. Another milestone will be getting a house together and moving in to your own place without parents. This will that teach you how much responsiblity is needed for everyday household, meals, bills and etc. A piece of marriage paper will not teach you all these, but a huge event like this will make changes in your lives.
Having a kid. Even though I do not have one yet, I know how much of a game changer this is. Many of my friends told me, once you enter parenthood, is a whole new world. As you not only have to take care of yourself but another new life that you brought into the world. I shall leave this part in the future when I do have a child.
Always remenber that :
Getting a house together. Another milestone will be getting a house together and moving in to your own place without parents. This will that teach you how much responsiblity is needed for everyday household, meals, bills and etc. A piece of marriage paper will not teach you all these, but a huge event like this will make changes in your lives.
Having a kid. Even though I do not have one yet, I know how much of a game changer this is. Many of my friends told me, once you enter parenthood, is a whole new world. As you not only have to take care of yourself but another new life that you brought into the world. I shall leave this part in the future when I do have a child.
Always remenber that :
The two of you as a couple defines the marriage you are in.
and no one else can change it for you, and most defentiantly not that piece of paper.
Your marriage life after the wedding is supposed to be the same as you are before or better. Don't expect drastic changes but the both of you should know each other well enough when you are married. You probably know each other flaws and habits and that you marry each other knowing that the person have this flaws and habits and bad points but you are willing to live with it and work together as a team to be better people for each other!
That's all from me.
That's all from me.
Love ya!
